Gwyneth Paltrow’s role in life is to be a GOOPY judge. She’s the perfect wife, perfect mother, with a perfect job/ home/ life/ workout/ diet blah. And, because she’s perfect, we get all these obsequious judgements about lifestyle cleverly disquised as a newsletter. Oddly, something as simple as the well-timed and marketed launch of a GOOP poop cleanse, for people without the wherewithal to set real health goals, feels insidious.
It’s not insidious, of course. But it’s the third year in a row Paltrow has pushed some sort of poop/ bowel cleanse on the three women earning enough to follow the shills in her newsletter. For the low, low price $425 (only just high enough to price the peasants out of the market) you too can have GOOP-clean bowels. That buys you a three-week course and GOOP’s blessing, so long as you pooped side-saddled.